New York Women Leaders Association NY Chapter Meeting: Thriving in the US Corporate World

Hi everyone, good afternoon and thank you for coming today. And Sarah, I do agree with Ginger that was a fantastic presentation and I have a page full of very helpful notes and I think we have something in common. We're both little fur baby bombs. Um, so you know, very glad to hear that. So everyone, I'm Nitra Kumar and I'm a director with Bank of America's global transaction services business and I manage large corporate Parma and MedTech clients where I provide them advisory on cash management and working capital solutions. I'm also a mother to the most adorable golden retriever on the planet. Um, so that's a quick background on me and I'm here to share my journey with you in the hope that you will see that while it has not been perfect and it has been filled with challenges and mistakes.
Uh, you will hopefully also see that it has been filled with learning and opportunity and they have shaped me to be the individual that I am today and I do believe that I'm better and stronger for that. So I'm a woman. I'm an immigrant. I'm a woman of color and I hail from a tribal community in the hills of South India. My grandfather actually moved to a large city in the south of India so he could give our family the chance to a better life and he subsequently helped a large part of my community transition as well. So that's me as a little girl. Uh Jer if you can just move um to the next slide
please. Yeah. So that's me as a little girl that you see with my grandparents growing up. And um you know as a little girl I never imagined that one day I would end up working in New York. And as the at the bottom of the slide you'll see a blue arrow and alongside the arrow are some key themes or beliefs that have framed my mindset and are critical to who I am today. So first hunger for the passion to succeed. My grandmother was actually regarded as the head of my family which is very unique for a traditional Indian family because most Indian families are patriarchal in structure but she was a force to reckon with and she made it her life's mission to ensure that I received a good education.
So unlike most little girls uh who had to do all the household chores so they groomed to be the perfect Indian bride. My grandmother sheltered me from all that and I got to focus on my education and dream just dream about being anything that I wanted to be. And a lot of folks may not truly appreciate this, but where I come from, the opportunity to dream of being whatever I wanted to be is not something that all little girls in India get because the expectation was that you get married by a certain age and then you conform to whatever your in-laws expect of you. So I treasured the opportunity and I would have relatives coming and saying to her, 'Oh, you need to train her to cook.
She's never going to find a husband.' And my grandmother would proudly say to them, 'My granddaughter is going to be so successful, it won't matter if she's married or not.' And they all thought she was completely crazy. So early on, I realized what this meant for my grandmother to stand up to society. And I did not want to let her down. So we would visit a doctor and my grandmother would, you know, ask him critical questions about his path to success all the time trying to instill in me the values of hard work and the importance of education. And you know at that age I didn't know what exactly I wanted to be but I knew that I wanted to be successful and that hard work and education was my path to get there.
Second hustle in most parts of India there's water scarcity and you always have to keep planning ahead. So we would have these tankers or lorries that would bring water to our neighborhood on a weekly basis and we would go with buckets stand in line and gather water and then there would be this constant tugof-war with siblings on who needed water more. Power outages was another thing that was very common in India. So during exams we had to be prepared with candles and during regular nights we had to be prepared with mosquito coils so we didn't get eaten alive by mosquitoes and my family never had access to the internet until I started working. All this has taught me to be resourceful and get things done with less.
Third, humility. My father was an alcoholic and we lost everything that my grandfather had helped build overnight or at least the realization that we lost everything happened overnight and I had to very early on at the age of 16 step into the shoes of primary bread winner and I did all kinds of jobs. I worked at grocery stores. I distributed pamphlets on the street for banks. I wore cartoon costumes to entertain kids in shopping malls. So I've been Flintstone and Yogi Bear. The point is that I know that life can take you in many different directions and no matter what it's important to always stay grounded. Next and very importantly putting purpose into action or paying it forward.
As part of the Indian culture, you lift your family and community forward with you. So I raised my brother, educated him, got my mom an apartment and now I truly want to help other women and immigrants. And I also work with kids from underprivileged backgrounds both in the US and in India and it's something that gives me an immense sense of purpose and is truly fulfilling. Next, you be you authenticity. I was used to being the only woman on sales teams across India for most of my career. All my colleagues were men. All my clients were men and they would discuss business smoking outside and when they were inside all they would talk about was cricket.
So it was really hard to penetrate that inner circle and I tried really hard to learn the game and talk about it passionately. Basically I was faking it and for a long stretch of my career I also tried to dress like men and I soon realized that my clients respected me for the advisory that I shared. I had built credibility with them and I could build a rapport based on other interests that were more authentic to me outside of cricket and still hold their attention. And as I transitioned to the US, at first I found myself trying to hide my accent and it was just getting too stressful. I soon realized I am enough. And that completely takes the pressure off.
It improves your productivity. So I would say just be comfortable bringing your whole self to work. Lastly, and very importantly, I would say be fearless. And this has two aspects to it. The first take risks with your career. Become comfortable being uncomfortable. And I know this sounds very very cliched. What I'm trying to say is if you're able to turn a situation that historically no one has been able to into a success, you get catapulted into the spotlight. So don't be discouraged by historical results. And the second aspect of this is integrity and speaking up when you see that something is not right. I will now talk about the challenges that I faced in India. Jinger, if you can just move to the next slide please.
Thank you. Uh I just wanted to quickly touch upon the challenges that I faced in India and the skill sets that they helped me develop. We discussed this resources are scarce and that teaches one to hustle and keep moving forward. There's a broken infrastructure and chaos and so I never expect a system. I'm comfortable navigating through chaos and I have an acceptance of forces that are beyond my control and the need to persevere despite them and I believe that this allows for innovation and patience to coexist in a corporate bureaucracy. Next, we also discussed this women aren't really given a seat at the table. It was expected that I would be the one to hand out cake and drinks at every office party or celebration.
And this taught me to learn, excuse me, this, you know, made me learn to work many times harder in order to get noticed. So discrimination is not something that is new to me. And what it taught me was to ignore the noise and let the results speak for themselves. And the rejection that I faced as a woman has made me resilient. It's taught me to bounce back and try harder. Also, India's diverse society with a myriad different customs and languages has given me the ability to navigate complex situations, particularly when it comes to scaling organizations and has helped me embrace diversity of thought and perspective. After having worked in India for several years, I then decided to get married through the Indian arranged marriage system, no less, to someone who was based in the US.
And so I decided to transition here. And at the time I was on a really good career trajectory in India. So it was not an easy decision to make. And unlike most immigrants who come here for better economic prospects, my story was a little different. That said, I still have the same fear which is most immigrants fears that presses me to try to do well and to belong. And you know I went through all the same teething challenges uh of getting to know a new culture and assimilating into it. Also at the time I didn't really know anyone in the US and so I reached out to everyone I could find on city's global directory. I was working with city at the time explained my situation my reason for wanting to get here and asked for an opportunity to connect.
I managed to have over 400 meetings in the span of 10 months. What I noticed was that hiring managers wanted someone from the local market and I was being told that I couldn't be successful here for a variety of different reasons because I didn't know the market. I didn't have a client base. I even received feedback from one hiring manager who said that I didn't speak the language. Um, which I thought was strange because I was speaking to him in English but um he explained to me that I didn't speak American English. In my mind, at its very core, sales is the same everywhere. You build credibility with customers. You understand their business probably better than they do.
And you try and help them be more efficient, save money and look good with their management teams. So I refused to take my foot off the accelerator, refused to take no for an answer, persisted and I got two job offers at the end of 10 months and transition to San Fran. So talking about some of the challenges in the US when I first moved here. First personally I had no ecosystem. I had essentially left my entire life behind. A family who loved me. A brother who was my best friend. Uh my friends, you know that I had known since childhood. My dog Buddy who was 11 months old at the time and was just this little furball who had wormed his way into my heart.
and my husband who was pretty much a stranger who I had met a few times, gotten married to and Skyped with for 10 months. Professionally, I had to build credibility from scratch and the experience was exciting but also nerve-wracking. But overall it was a humbling experience because I had done exceedingly well in my career in India and I suddenly found myself thrown into a completely different league where there was a culmination of the best of the best from across the globe. Um next and a very important topic microaggressions and bias. I want to spend a little more time on this topic. So, I'll circle back to this next. To exist, but not to be seen or heard.
I cannot tell you how many times I've spoken up and shared views in meetings and on calls and had people completely gloss over it. Literally act like I hadn't said anything to the point where I had to check to see if I was on mute. And then of course there would be a colleague, typically male, typically not a person of color, who would paraphrase my thoughts and folks would agree with him. And I'm sure we've all been there and have those extremely frustrating moments to put it mildly. And that's where the sisterhood is very important to be a champion for other women. Call out men who do this very calmly and say, 'Thank you, Mr. X, for highlighting Miss Wise point.
I agree that she makes a very compelling argument.' And sometimes it's just the little things like using the subway. Uh when I transitioned here to the US, I failed my driver's test four times. I used to drive in India for over 10 years. Never killed anyone in India. And in India, that was enough. But then in the US, I realized you have rules. And I cannot, you know, tell you how many times I've gotten confused between uptown and downtown and happily ridden on the subway all over New York in the wrong direction or even things like understanding what clothes will keep you warm in New York's harsh winter. Um anyway, so this transition process has been a huge learning for me on multiple levels.
A the power of relationships. You shouldn't be reaching out to everyone on the global directory like I did when you need something. I would say keep building meaningful relationships in an organic and consistent manner so you have that network in place that you can tap into when you need something. Secondly, your skills are transferable and it's up to you how you position that. In my mind, if you have the passion, the energy, and the willingness to learn, you're pretty much qualified for most jobs. Third, resilience. When you hear a no, think about what you need to work on to come back and try. Is it about the timing? A no is not necessarily a permanent no.
Very importantly, build an advisory board. People who will give it to you straight without sugar coating it. When you get feedback, especially negative feedback, learn to identify what is coming from a place of viciousness and what is truly coming from a place where they want you to grow and then ignore the naysayers. And this is where an advisory board can truly help you. Most importantly, diversity is your superpower. Be proud of what makes you different and unique. And I think that's what makes this country so amazing and strong. So don't let anyone make you feel like you have to hide an accent. For example, I'm an immigrant from India. I have an accent. I recently got my American citizenship and I'm very proud of my Indian heritage.
Super proud to be an American citizen. And I believe that I'm able to bring the best of both of these worlds to everything that I do at and outside of work. As promised, I'm going to come back to the issue of combating bias. Uh thank you Ginger. I won't tell anyone how you should handle bias as I think each situation is unique and you have to go with your gut and also seek out your personal advisory board. But experience has taught me a few things which I would like to share. I typically go to the intent before I react because not all questions or statements that on the face of it indicate bias are necessarily coming from a bad place.
I would also say leverage people's curiosity to share your story. When I first moved to the US, I had a colleague who today is a very good friend of mine ask me what my home in India was like, whether we had televisions and microwaves. And so I sat him down and I showed him pictures of my home and my family. And I think it was very eye opening for him, but it also ended up creating a strong bond between the two of us. And another experience that I have when people realize that I'm an immigrant from India is I often get asked where I learned to speak English and my first reaction is to say in school and um sometimes people follow up asking where did you go to school?
So I take the opportunity to talk about India and my culture and life there. And I think the point that I'm trying to make is that a lot of bias typically stems from fear which stems from ignorance. And if we share our experience and talk about each other's cultures, I think we'll find that we're not so different after all. That said, sometimes I've found that it's not enough to lean in. So I would say don't be intimidated to call people out politely. Um, I had an ex-colague who would constantly keep saying he couldn't understand what I was saying and asked me to repeat myself on calls and during meetings. So, I checked with my advisory board and after being convinced that it wasn't me, the next time he did that, I said, 'It must be my Indian accent.
Let's try this again.' And he's never done that since. I will end by saying, Ginger, if you can just move to the next slide, please. Thank you. So this is not the finish line. Continue to make those small deposits into yourself and your career. It is about being proud of who you are, being great at what you do, and paving the way for others who come after you. Thank you.
Well, thank you so much for that wonderful presentation and for sharing your story. We appreciate it. So, yeah, we're just going to dive right into the questions that came in from the chat. Um, we'll start with this one from Edith and she said, 'It is challenging having your ideas ignored and then accepted when a white male makes the same recommendation. How do you address that behavior without being seen as an aggressive, angry woman?'
Uh and that question came from Gita. Yes, thank you Gita for Yeah. So thank you Gita for the question and you know Gita I will go back um to my time in India and I think you know when I was in India I I experienced the same thing because you know as I said I was the only woman in sales right and at the time I was young I was hot-headed passionate um handled these situations very aggressively and what I realized is that I didn't do myself or my career any favors, right? And I agree with you, it's not easy. it um you know is certainly not fair but um I think you know what experience has taught me is that you will always meet people who have these biases and unfortunately you still have to continue to work with them and walk away from the table without being seen as um an aggressive confrontational person.
And um the unfortunate thing is um most often you know people of color we've gone through so many of these experiences that we we already come with um um you know um our own set of um frustrations to the table right so it's important to I guess um you know balance um that assertiveness and that ability to influence with um uh with I would say uh the right level of gravitas. What I typically do is I you know uh take the first opportunity that I can to go to you know my own safe uh space, turn up the music and you know just um unwind and dance. Um my husband you know uh has now after several years of marriage uh realized that he needs to leave me alone.
But you need to find, you know, your own way of um letting go of that frustration. Um you know, and and do that in tandem. I will go back to what, you know, Sarah also shared. Do that in tandem with uh being your own cheerleader, right? So other people can see the good work that you're doing. And it's it's not dependent on, you know, a one-off situation or a couple of situations where uh a white male is stealing your uh ideas. And also build an ecosystem where you know if you see another man doing that to another woman, call him out on it. And uh you should have that ecosystem where other w other women are doing the same for you.
I don't know if that's helpful, but um I I certainly have not mastered uh the art of handling it. It's it's an ongoing uh process. That's great. Well, this question came in earlier in your presentation and it came from Dory and Dory says, 'What advice would you give to today's younger graduates seeking to make that move to work in the United States?'
Um I would say be open to new experiences. Uh I know when you know I I first transitioned here I I was very set you know in my mind in terms of what my expectations were uh especially having you know also come through the Indian arranged marriage uh process. Um I had expectations uh in terms of what my husband would be like. He was nothing like that. Um I put him through um you know the husband boot camp. He's still a work in progress. Uh I had expectations of you know what the US would be like and um you know I I will say uh I have I I think u acclimated a lot better over the years and you know become more open to new experiences.
But when I first got here, I was very adamant and rigid in my ways. And that makes it a lot harder to acclimate to the new environment. Um, you have to, you know, be willing to let go of, I would call it, uh, accelerated delarning, if you will. You have to be willing to let go of certain things while at the same time, um, you know, bringing the best of your home country. uh it's um you know uh it's a fine it's a fine balance and uh and I think that's what will help you thrive in in your new environment. That's great. Well, here's another question that came in from Erica and Erica said, 'Did you have male or female mentors?'
That's a great question and today I have both male and female mentors. Um and you know I have different um you know uh relationships with each of them. I think each of them bring a different uh facet or different value ad to my career to my personal growth. Um and um you know Bank of America has very um organized mentorship programs but most of these relationships with my mentors that I have built are organic relationships where you know I would have probably uh run into them in the elevator and you know struck up a conversation with them and said hey can I put you know time on your calendar and then you know it just went from there.
Uh but but to answer your question, that's another mistake that I made when I first you know transitioned to the US where I was so fixated on um you know what my expectations were and getting those expectations you know um uh I guess I would call it checking the boxes. Uh and um you know um maybe I didn't have to check all those you know boxes of expectations. I should have just been focused on enjoying the experience, building that ecosystem. And after I, you know, got rid of that checklist, um, I've started focusing on building that ecosystem and, um, it the mentorship is very, very important. Yes, that's wonderful. Well, this question just came in from Felicity and Felicity said, 'I'm also working with team members seeking to make the move from India.
How do I sell them to our New Yorkbased teams? I'm not familiar with universities in India. So if if I know the Indian community well, I think you don't have to do too much selling Felicity. Um I mean I know um you know as an Indian uh wanting to come here um typically you know the background is once you are successful and you're able to build a life for for yourself here you have to you know you have to give back to your family to your community and you know and that's what I did and I know all of my you know friends who've immigrated from India that's what you know they've done that's what they continue to do and that's you know every immigrant story, right?
Um that's the expectation that you lift your family, your community forward with you. So there's, you know, a a huge population out there who want that opportunity because um there's just, you know, so many people uh who depend on them, who depend on the primary bread winner. Uh so I don't believe you need to do too much selling. Oh, that's wonderful. That's great to hear. Well, so as we close and move on to our panel discussion for the afternoon, do you have any final advice or words of wisdom for our viewers today?
Um I I believe I shared uh all the wisdom that I had Ginger but um you know what I would you know uh part by saying is that um you know uh after you make it uh to the US um you know a lot of family and you know friends feel like you've you've made it you've arrived and you know they they celebrate hugely but um you know what I keep telling uh them and what I will tell the audience as well is that this is just the beginning. Uh it's not the finish line and there is so much more to uh accomplish. So uh you know just continue to um stay focused, invest in yourself and uh don't forget to pay it forward.
Well, that's wonderful. Well, thank you so much for your time this afternoon. Thank you for having me.